Included here are quotes from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls, from columns, articles, and web pages written by Robert Burney, and quite a few positive affirmations.
"We need to own that we have the power to choose where to focus our mind. We can consciously start viewing ourselves from the "witness" perspective. It is time to fire the judge - our critical parent - and choose to replace that judge with our Higher Self - who is a loving parent. We can then intervene in our own process to protect ourselves from the perpetrator within - the critical parent/disease voice."
"The part of you that tells you that you are not lovable, that you are not worthy, that you are not deserving, is the disease. It is trying to maintain control because that is all that it knows how to do.
We are not "better than." We are also not "less than." The messages that we are "better than" come from the same place that the messages of "less than" come from: the disease."
Quote from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
"There is nothing wrong with me - or you. It is our relationship with ourselves and life that is dysfunctional. We are Spiritual beings who came into body in an emotionally dishonest, Spiritually hostile environment where everyone was trying to do human according to false belief systems. We were taught to expect life to be something that it isn't. It isn't our fault that things are so screwed up - it is however our responsibility to change the things we can within ourself."
"We need to turn down the volume on those loud, yammering voices that shame and judge us and turn up the volume on the quiet Loving voice. As long as we are judging and shaming ourselves we are feeding back into the disease, we are feeding the dragon within that is eating the life out of us."
Quote from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
"I am going to make a brief point about two dimensions of this phenomena in relationship to empowerment. These two dimensions are the horizontal and the vertical. In this context the horizontal is about being human and relating to other humans and our environment. The vertical is Spiritual - about our relationship to the God-Force. Codependence is at it's core a Spiritual disease and the only way out of it is through a Spiritual cure - so any recovery, any empowerment, depends upon Spiritual awakening."
"Integrating the Spiritual Truth (the vertical) of an unconditionally Loving God-Force into our process is vital in order to take the crippling toxic shame about being imperfect humans out of the equation. That toxic shame is what makes it so hard for us to own our right to make choices instead of just reacting to someone else set of rules."
"We need to own that we have the power to choose where to focus our mind. We can consciously start viewing ourselves from the "witness" perspective. It is time to fire the judge - our critical parent - and choose to replace that judge with our Higher Self - who is a loving parent. We can then intervene in our own process to protect ourselves from the perpetrator within - the critical parent/disease voice."
The Spirit speaks from Love not shame!
The "small quiet Loving voice" of intuition is telling us the Truth.
We learned to negatively affirm ourselves several hundred times a day - it is very important to start taping over the old tapes with positive affirmations!
The disease (the dark side of the Force) learned to try to control feelings and behavior with fear, guilt and shame.
The programming of the disease was negative - to react to life from fear, lack, and scarcity. It is trying to protect us by keeping us from trusting. It believes separation is what is safe.
"To the disease, this is a functional cycle. The shame begets the self-abuse which begets the shame which serves the purpose of the disease which is to keep us separate so the we don't set ourselves up to fail by believing that we are worthy and lovable."
We need to stop giving power to the monster within.
"We need to turn down the volume on those loud, yammering voices that shame and judge us and turn up the volume on the quiet Loving voice. As long as we are judging and shaming ourselves we are feeding back into the disease, we are feeding the dragon within that is eating the life out of us."
Quote from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
"The "critical parent" voice in my head has always berated me for not being perfect, for being human. My expectations, the "shoulds," my disease piled on me were a way in which I victimized myself. I was always judging, shaming and beating myself up because as a little child I got the message that something was wrong with me.
There is nothing wrong with me - or you. It is our relationship with ourselves and life that is dysfunctional. We are Spiritual beings who came into body in an emotionally dishonest, Spiritually hostile environment where everyone was trying to do human according to false belief systems. We were taught to expect life to be something that it isn't. It isn't our fault that things are so screwed up - it is however our responsibility to change the things we can within ourself."
"I needed to learn how to set boundaries within, both emotionally and mentally by integrating Spiritual Truth into my process. Because "I feel feel like a failure" does not mean that is the Truth. The Spiritual Truth is that "failure" is an opportunity for growth."
Quote from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
We can tell ourselves good things!
We can be a Loving friend to our self.
The entire Universe Loves me, serves me, nurtures me and wants me to win.
I am a success to the degree that I feel warm and loving to myself.
My debts represent my & others beliefs in my future earning ability.
The most important thing to my loved ones' happiness is that I be happy first.
My value and worth are increased by every thing I do.
All my experiences are opportunities to gain more power, clarity and vision.
I can fill all my needs if I am willing to pay the price.
I have a right to ask for and expect something in life.
Comparison of myself with another is meaningless.
I am the center of my universe; my world revolves around me.
The Christ/Goddess/Spirit within me is creating miracles in my life here and now.
I AM a magnificent Spiritual being having a Joyous and exciting human adventure!
If we Truly believed the positive affirmations we would not have to say them. When we most need to say them is when we least believe them - when we are feeling the worst.
When we are feeling lousy and we do some Positive Affirmations, we are being a Loving parent to the wounded children inside of us. Doing the affirmations helps us to align with Spiritual Truth so that we are not giving power to the disease/monster within by buying into the shame and judgment.
"The next time something does not go the way you wanted it to, or just when you are feeling low, ask yourself how old you are feeling. What you might find is that you are feeling like a bad little girl, a bad little boy, and that you must have done something wrong because it feels like you are being punished.
Just because it feels like you are being punished does not mean that is the Truth.
Feelings are real - they are emotional energy that is manifested in our body - but they are not necessarily fact.
What we feel is our "emotional truth" and it does not necessarily have anything to do with either facts or the emotional energy that is Truth with a capital "T" - especially when we our reacting out of an age of our inner child."
***
"The part of you that tells you that you are not lovable, that you are not worthy, that you are not deserving, is the disease. It is trying to maintain control because that is all that it knows how to do.
We are not "better than." We are also not "less than." The messages that we are "better than" come from the same place that the messages of "less than" come from: the disease.
We are all children of God who deserve to be happy.
And if you are right now judging yourself for not being happy enough or healed enough - that is your disease talking. Tell it to fuck off!!
It is not who you are - it is only a part of you. We can stop giving power to that part of us. We can stop being the victims of ourselves."
***
"We need to let go of the illusion that we can control this life business. We cannot. We never could! It was an illusion. And we need to let go of the false beliefs that tell us that we are bad and shameful. We cannot become whole as long as we believe that any part of us is bad or shameful.
That includes the ego - that bloated out-of-balance dragon within. Thank God for our egos, they are what allowed us to survive. Thank God for Codependence,without it we would not be alive. But now is the time to get things into balance - the time to bring ego-self into alignment and balance with Spiritual Self.
That is the transformation which is known as "the death of the ego." To quote the St. Francis Prayer, "It is through dying that we awaken to eternal life." It is not referring just to physical death, it is referring to the death of the ego which allows us to awaken to the Truth of eternal life.
The death of the ego is not an event - it is a process. It is not an act of violence - it is an act of Love. A process of learning to Love.
We are bringing ego-self into alignment with Spiritual Truth. We are reconnecting with our Spiritual nature and Spiritual purpose so that we can find some fulfillment and happiness in life."
Quote from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
The Goal is Progress ~ not perfection.
We are works in progress, in process.
My dreams come true.
I live in an abundant Universe.
I radiate self-esteem, inner peace, Love, well-being, health, and happiness.
I create money and abundance through Joy, aliveness and self-Love.
I am vibrantly healthy, radiantly beautiful, and Joyously alive.
The Light within me is creating miracles in my body mind and relationships here and now.
I am now celebrating my life, having fun and enjoying myself.
I am always deeply relaxed and centered, balanced in every way.
I am whole and balanced within myself.
I always have everything I need.
I am enough.